From Her Frozen Heart
by LittlefootWentBoom
Summary: After Natsu's death, Lucy is left feeling as if she will never be whole again. Will she be able to find the strength to move forward with her life, and maybe even to love once more? Rated T for blood and because... it just is.
1. Chapter 1

Apparently, I only like Natsu heartbroken or dead. Maybe both. I kid, I kid! This is just the first (very short) chapter of something I've been working on. I've lost a lot of people in my life, so I wanted to do something about finding the strength to move forward with life and how incredibly difficult it can be, but I honestly don't know how this came about because of that idea. This will (maybe?) eventually be GrayxLucy but first Natsu has to die. :O I'm such a terrible person!

Oh, be warned, there's blood. But just blood. Squeamish people beware…? I dunno, I've never been squeamish, not even when I had my kid, so I don't know how squeamishness works exactly. It's not too bad, though, I promise!

XXXXXX

Barely aware of what was happening around her, all of Lucy's focus was upon his face and how quickly his color was draining. His breathing was ragged as she begged him to stay conscious, refusing to acknowledge the giant crimson pool beneath him that was spreading far too quickly. She was straddled atop his hips, both of her hands pressing down hard into the wound in his neck where the blood was originating from, muttering to him in as soothing of a voice she could muster. If only she could get him to stay coherent for a second, for just enough time to get him to cauterize the wound with his own flames… but no, the spurts of his blood had told her what she so badly wanted to deny. One of his arteries had been severed, and unless Wendy could, in minutes, travel the hundred miles to where they were, Natsu would soon…

No!

She would not think like that!

Natsu would live! He had to!

A scream from behind her pierced her ears, but she would not remove her gaze from Natsu's face below. The beloved scarf Igneel had given him was now soaked in a red so deep the color might have been beautiful on anything else, anything else but him. How had this happened? One second they were fighting a team of bandits, Natsu yelling gleefully about the fire in his belly, the exhilaration of battle clear upon his features, and the next there was a magic knife protruding from his neck. The instant he collapsed, Erza had issued a battle cry so fierce it could be heard for miles. Lucy had sprinted to him, her heart stopping as she repeatedly screamed, "No!"

A weak cough emerged from his lips, and she felt another burst of blood try to force its way through her fingers. He was paler than before, the puddle even larger. Her bare knees were slick with the thick liquid, and she was slipping on the pavement as she fought to stay upright. "Stay with me," she whispered as she put even more pressure on his neck. Since Lucy was such an avid reader, she'd often come upon tragic death scenes in novels, and she usually found them to be heartbreakingly beautiful, maybe even a bit romantic.

But there was nothing beautiful or romantic about this.

Suddenly, Natsu locked a determined gaze on her face and smiled feebly. "Lu…"

"No!" she shrieked. "Save your strength! We have to stop this bleeding and then we can get you to a doctor-" She was interrupted by a violent roar so terrifying only Erza could have produced it. Natsu smiled again and lifted his hand up to her face. She wanted to take his arm and force it back down, but she dared not move her hands.

"Lu," he said again as he gently caressed her face. Tears clung to his eyelashes and she knew what he was trying to do, what he was trying to say. No, no, no, no! She would not let him die, not after all they had been through together!

Taking a deep breath, Lucy said in a shaking voice, "I love you, you know that? You can't leave me. Not now. All those promises you made to me? You can't break them! You said we'd be together forever, so don't leave me!" She found she was screaming hysterically now, and her tears were pouring down onto his bare chest. For a second, the only sounds she heard were the dripping of her tears and Natsu's uneven breathing. His own tears were now unyielding and his hand trembled near her face. Lucy wanted to lean into the comfort of his hand, as she did so often, but knowing this might be the last time, she couldn't gather enough strength to do so. Instead she leaned down and kissed him, as if this were any of the nights they had spent together, and she told him that he was everything to her and he better not dare leave her all alone in this world. Looking into his beautiful emerald eyes, with almost no space between them, she begged him to hold on. There was chaos all around, but for them, this moment consisted of only the love they held for each other. He caressed her face again and closed his eyes.

Then he opened them one last time.

"I love you, Lucy."

His hand fell, and with it, Lucy's heart.

She took hold of his shoulders and frantically shook him. "Natsu, Natsu! No, no, no, no! You promised! You promised you'd never leave me!" But no matter how hard she shook him, no matter how many times she sobbed his name, he would not be awoken. His fluffy pink hair she teased him about so much was now wet with blood. The hands that touched her tenderly during the nights were now cold. And the chest he always held her to, the heat she loved with all her being, was now unmoving, his heart no longer beating, his lungs no longer breathing. Seeing his face, with the small smile he would wear for the rest of eternity, made her mind go blank. Her vision blurred. Her ears rang. Her heart stopped. Then she finally understood.

She would never see that wonderful smile of his again.

He was gone.

Lucy flung her head back and wailed, screaming until her voice broke and no more sound would come.

Later, when they tried to pry her from his lifeless body she could not be moved. Minutes, hours, days, she did not know how long she laid there, holding onto Natsu and silently weeping. She did not know, nor did she care. There was nothing without Natsu, she had nothing. There was no point in living without him, without his smile and love. She would wait until the time came when they could be together once more, even if it meant she could never move again. That was fine. She would stay with him, forever.

Forever, she'd be drowning in this lake of her lover's blood.

XXXXXX

While I was writing this fic I couldn't think of a name so I just kept saving it as "Dead Natsu." Now I must write something with a good, happy, ALIVE Natsu. I've decided. I can only be a jerk to him for so long. Sigh. I just have to come up with something first.

Please leave reviews telling me if you hate me or love me. Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

He was buried under an apple tree, in a grove not far from Lucy's apartment.

It was midday, with the sun shining hotly and not a cloud in sight, when Fairy Tail gathered to say farewell to their beloved dragon slayer. Many wept freely as they held onto their companions for support, and still some of the guild members fell to the grass as their grief became too much to bear. Some stood staring blankly, their shock at Natsu's death even now not having been erased from their features. Gajeel was one such member, even as Levy clung to him and silently shed her tears into his coat, his face remained expressionless.

It was not yet time for the service, but there were only a few members still missing from the crowd. Fairy Tail was not the only guild whose members were in attendance today. The news of Natsu's death had traveled all across Fiore in a matter of days, and at first it was believed to have only been a rumor, until it was confirmed by Fairy Tail's guild master and the date of Natsu Dragneel's funeral was announced. It seemed that in the past that Natsu had helped people from all over the nation, and even though he was notorious for destroying everything in his path, he was loved by so many. Most of Fairy Tail's guild members were against Natsu's funeral becoming a public event, but with Makarov's insistence that it would be highly immoral to keep Natsu all to themselves, eventually everyone conceded defeat and it was decided that any who wished to attend were welcome. They just hadn't expected such an incredible amount of people to show up.

There were hundreds present among the grove, all dressed in bleak colors and muttering in a respectful quiet. There were even a couple of reporters with cameras that stood farther off by themselves, most likely trying to be polite but at the same time not wanting to pass up the inside scoop on the biggest story in years. Newsstands all around Fiore had headlines reading, "Natsu Dragneel Announced Dead!" or, "Death of a Fairy!" "Fire Dragon Slayer's Luck Burnt Out!" And the worst of them all…

"Salamander Squished!"

After seeing that last one covering the stands in front of her favorite restaurant, Erza had, in such a terrifying calm, picked up one of the magazines and proceeded to viciously tear each page out in succession, all the while giving the waiter on shift one of her signature Titania glares. Needless to say, by the time she was done tearing the pages out of her third magazine the entire set had been frantically thrown into the fireplace and replaced with the latest issue of _Delicious Desserts_.

She was perhaps the one who was taking Natsu's death the hardest of them all. In the single week since he was killed, Erza was able to destroy two separate dark guilds, butcher the beast terrorizing the next town over, thwart a pack of rogue mages' plans to create a demon, and she even found time to demolish the entire headquarters building of the magazine that published the "Salamander Squished!" volume. But the dark bruises under her eyes betrayed her sorrow and guilt more than any number of missions could. The last mission Team Natsu had taken was one that Erza suggested herself, and it was clear that she blamed herself for the fatality. Although she searched for the entire day afterwards, there was no sign of Natsu's killer and she was forced to come back to Magnolia to help prepare for his funeral. However, it didn't stop her from filling her nights with the most strenuous of jobs possible.

Lucy only knew all of this from Gray, since when they arrived home she retreated into her apartment and refused to leave. Natsu's scent lingered all throughout her home, saturating her furniture and clothes, and once she was able to envelop herself in it again she could not bring herself to leave. While being surrounded by this soft, maple aroma she could almost pretend as if Natsu had never left at all, that when she woke up he would enfold her into his embrace and show her just how much he loved her. As soon as she had been hit with that realization, she crawled into the comfort of her bed, cradled Natsu's pillow to her chest, and would not move herself for anything. She did not cry for her lost love. She did not speak when her friends attempted to console her. She only stared at the wall vacantly for the entire week.

She was numb.

And now she was _here_. Where _he_ was. Where he would remain until the end of time.

While looking from afar atop a hill, Lucy impassively scanned the crowd and barely registered any of the faces. There were far too many people here to be only Natsu's friends, she realized with a jolt. It hadn't even crossed her mind that people from all over would attend. The instant she made her presence known every person here would watch her, the deceased's lover, and then they would expect her to speak about him, give a speech, even. Well, she hadn't spoken all week, and she wasn't about to start now with everyone scrutinizing her so damn intently.

Her eyes moved from the mass of mourners to the treetops high above. Though the trees were sparse here, they were large enough for their foliage to cover the deep azure of the sky, only allowing the faintest rays of sunshine to peek through their leaves. Natsu and Lucy often took walks together through this particular wood, and he always said that that this was his favorite time of day here. He said with the sun shining on her hair and the trees in the background, she became the most magnificent creature he had ever laid eyes on. Of course, he'd told her in much simpler terms, and the writer in her beautified the memory to something more likened to a fairy tale romance, but it was a sweet memory nonetheless.

Her gaze fell as a warm hand entwined with her own and gave a light squeeze. Gray was somehow able to drag her out of bed and get her here, and Lucy couldn't exactly remember how. She was also dressed appropriately for the occasion, in a brown sweater dress that had been one of Natsu's favorites, and she couldn't remember getting this on either. Her confused expression must have told him what she was thinking since he offered her a small smile.

"I've been at your place all week. Had to make sure you were taken care of."

Lucy blinked.

He had been there? She didn't even notice. In fact, she actually didn't remember any of this past week at all. She tried to think. The only thing that stood out was…

_Blood. She is covered in blood, and it isn't her own._

Her body unexpectedly shuddered and she wrenched her hand away from Gray's as she rushed to the nearest tree trunk. Hunched over and on her hands and knees, her head swam with the onslaught of such a horrific memory.

_She is swimming in a pool of blood, of Natsu's blood. She is screaming as someone drags her away from him. She fights desperately to get back to him, but to no avail. The arms restraining her are too strong. They are taking her away, away from him. She must get back. He needs her! Natsu needs her!_

Her hair was pulled back just as her stomach heaved and she lost her lunch, or would have, if she'd had any to begin with. Sucking in the cool air, she tried to slow her rapid breathing, but then continued heaving as flashes of events she didn't remember raced through her mind once more.

_Cold water pounds her back and washes down the drain in streams of scarlet. She is sitting in a porcelain tub, her arms wrapped around her knees as she rocks back and forth. Someone is with her, directing the showerhead around to pour water on her in all the places necessary, unconcerned that their own clothes are now soaked and stained red. Her eyes suddenly snap open and she lets out a bloodcurdling scream. The showerhead is abandoned with a clang and he envelops her in his arms as she howls her anguish, sobbing until she can make no more sound. Then, there is silence, and she knows she will never be the same._

It is the scent of the moss beneath her that eventually brings her back to the present. Grabbing fistfuls of dirt, Lucy again attempted to steady her breathing while Gray sat behind her, rubbing her back and speaking to her soothingly. She still felt sick and beads of sweat ran down her face when she finally was able to stand again. With shaking hands she covered her ears in an attempt to block out all sound and leaned her back against the tree to try and compose herself, closing her eyes as she thought about the memory she had previously locked away in her mind. It was now clawing its way to the surface, demanding she acknowledge it.

But she didn't want to remember it.

And so she pushed it back down, to the farthest, darkest corners of her mind and locked it away once more. Only this time she made sure to throw away the key.

Suddenly there was a bright light her shut eyelids couldn't fully block out, and then a masculine voice said, "Is she okay?"

There was the swish of movement and the crunch of leaves before she heard Gray's quick reply. "Flashbacks, I think." One of the men sighed and they continued speaking in hurried, but hushed tones. When Lucy opened her eyes she was only mildly surprised to see Loke was the new man and that he and Gray were now arguing stiffly.

She tilted her head and studied the two of them curiously. They were both wearing suits and she thought they looked slightly comical in their formal attire against the wooded backdrop. Loke's wild mane had been tamed and Gray didn't even look like he had the slightest urge to strip. How amusing. She let out a huff of air and both men abruptly stopped talking when they took notice of her. They seemed unsure of how to speak to her, like they thought anything they might say could break her into a million pieces. She supposed they were probably right.

Loke lifted his arm up and began to rub out the back of his neck. "Lucy," he started. "What you're doing isn't healthy. You have to grieve. You have to speak to us. We're all here for you." When she only gave him vacant stare he sighed sadly. "Look, how long are you planning on not talking? You have to-"

"Stop."

Lucy's eyes shifted to Gray, who loosened his tie uncomfortably under her and Loke's gazes. The ice mage looked exhausted, and Lucy wondered if all the supposed taking care of her this week had been difficult.

"She'll grieve when she's ready. Just… just let her do it her way. C'mon, we're going to be late."

Loke only nodded in response.

When Gray walked to her and offered her his hand, she made no move to grasp it. Gently, he pulled her into a tender embrace that was meant to comfort her as much as it was to comfort him. He held her for a minute, breathing softly into her hair. "We'll be late unless we go now."

She couldn't bring herself to care.

But whether she cared or not didn't matter to him, and when he released her he reached for her hand, took it in his own, and led her through the trees and down the hill towards Natsu Dragneel's funeral. Loke followed closely behind them. In order to get to their designated places in the front they had to walk straight through the throng of people and, just as Lucy knew they would be, all eyes were swiftly upon her. People parted to make a clear path for her, and some even whispered words of reassurance or gave her their condolences. Members from all of the guilds were here to grieve, for they all had Natsu to thank in some way. With all the great things he'd done, he was sure to have helped over hundreds of people. He had even saved whole cities before, so of course there would be this many people here in mourning.

It was when she saw the grave that she jerked in surprise. Natsu had already been buried, as was custom, and the headstone above his grave was simple, with his name printed underneath a large Fairy Tail insignia. Below his name, the epithet read _beloved companion and a friend to all, may your flames burn forever on_ with the years of his life listed further below that. His life was too short, Lucy thought. He was still so young, he should have had years ahead of him, decades even. A sea of color surrounded his grave, every sort of flower nature had to offer having been placed in the grass.

Gray was leading her through the crowd and with every step closer to that perfect field of flowers she felt like her heart was fragmenting more and more, and she was afraid that at any moment she might collapse and burst into tears. She didn't, however, and once she, Gray, and Loke took their places among Fairy Tail's guild members she began to feel guilty for her lack of emotions. They were among friends, family really, and yet still she could not cry for Natsu, could not speak to comfort her friends. Her heart had shattered the day of his death, and now it seemed as if it was so broken that her mind could not even begin to comprehend it, for even though she was here at his funeral, she remained numb and emotionless.

Every single person gathered here today was watching Lucy so intently she could feel their eyes burning into the back of her skull, demanding she show her grief since she was supposedly the one closest to Natsu. Even her guild mates were looking at her with irritation in their red-rimmed eyes. She couldn't help the way she was. Yes, she wanted to sob her heart out until there was nothing left of her, she truly did, but she could barely latch onto a single thought at a time and she felt so unbearably dead inside it took all she had to stay standing and focused on the grave in front of her. When a wave of dizziness rapidly washed over her she had to steady herself against Gray's side, earning her more than a few glares of disgust as he put an arm around her shoulders and whispered reassuringly into her ear.

Suddenly there was a pair of new, more feminine arms around her as someone threw themselves at her from behind and began sobbing into her shoulder blades. Momentarily stunned, Lucy blinked in confusion until she turned her head and recognized the familiar bright blue hair of Levy, whose sobs only increased in intensity when Lucy tried to turn around to face her. "Lu-chan!" she wailed. "I'm s-so s-sor-ry! This was n-never s-sup-posed to happen! You and Natsu were supposed to be together forever!" The girl continued sobbing into Lucy's chest as she patted her back awkwardly, entirely unsure of how to act. Gray had been thrown to the side when Levy had barreled into them and he now stood a few feet away with his hands in his pockets while talking quietly with Gajeel, who Lucy hadn't even been aware was near. The dragon slayer and ice mage were joined by a few of the emotionally stronger guild members, probably discussing how best to support the weaker ones in this time of grief, Lucy assumed.

Just when she thought Levy's sobbing would end the grip around Lucy's body tightened and her friend began to wail even harder. It pained her to see her dear friend in such anguish, and she wished she could do something, anything, to make it all better. A very large, very calloused hand appeared on Levy's shoulder, and Lucy wasn't surprised to find that it belonged to Gajeel. The faintest smirk appeared on Lucy's face.

She might not be able to help ease Levy's pain, but she knew Gajeel sure could.

Eventually Levy's sobs silenced and she pulled away from Lucy, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. After a quick glance up to Gajeel, Levy took a gulp of air and smiled brokenly at Lucy, her eyes now swollen and red. "Lu-chan," she began, "We all love you and will all be here for you. Just… whenever you're ready, kay?" She smiled again and hugged Lucy tightly, then turned and walked back into the crowd of people. Gajeel watched her go then turned to Lucy. He said nothing, only clapped his hand on her shoulder and nodded before following Levy into the crowd.

Over the next half-hour many more of Lucy's friends came up to her to give hugs and their condolences, telling her that if she ever needed anything they were more than willing to provide. They said Natsu's death was a tragic accident, that he and Lucy should have had more time, that it wasn't fair. Everyone said the same things to her, and every time Lucy could only return to them a blank stare. Did no one understand? She didn't want to be here, among concerned stares and whispers of how she had certainly gone off the deep end. Instead Lucy wanted to be back in her bed, pretending that Natsu's arms were wrapped firmly around her midsection as he told her he loved her. She craved his enchanting scent, needed to be surrounded by it once more, or else her fragile psyche truly would implode.

She tired of all this sadness, and decided she would walk back home. It was just after she had taken her first step that she heard Makarov's voice and realized they were already in the middle of the service, and it had been a very long while since her last encounter with tearful condolences.

Her hand was also in the gentle grasp of Gray's, and when she had taken a step she accidentally tugged his arm. When he looked at her a frightened expression marred his face and Lucy shook her head to clear her mind. She didn't even remember when people had stopped approaching her and Gray had once again taken his place at her side. Maybe she really had gone off the deep end after all.

Other guild members' voices replaced Makarov's as they each took turns to say their piece about Natsu and all the fond memories they shared. Cana was speaking about how much of a lightweight Natsu was when Lucy heard Gray speaking quietly to the person next to him. She turned to see that Mirajane was on the other end of his whispers, her bright blue eyes missing their usual glee and swollen from crying.

"I've been trying to reach her all week but she seems to be purposefully evading us all," Mira said to Gray. "She's supposed to be here but no one has seen her at all today. Quite frankly, I'm now just as concerned about her as I am about Lucy." Gray sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. Mira touched his shoulder comfortingly. "Unfortunately, it is usually the strongest who become the weakest at times like these. All we can do is try to help her. And keep her from taking so many jobs when she should be allowing herself to grieve."

Gray mumbled, "She thinks it's her fault."

Mira's eyes widened. "But that is ridiculous! She knows better than that!"

"Yeah well, her will is about as thick as her armor. If she thinks she's at fault, then there isn't any getting to her."

Mira clicked her tongue irritably and looked to the sky. "It is too beautiful a day for so much pain." When she looked down again she noticed Lucy's questioning face and realized Lucy had been eavesdropping on some of her conversation with Gray. She gave Lucy a sympathetic look and explained, "Erza isn't here. We looked everywhere for her earlier, but she was nowhere to be found."

Erza was missing? Erza would never neglect to appear at Natsu's funeral! An overwhelming wave of fear gripped Lucy's heart and threatened to crush her. What if Erza was hurt? Or worse, dead? Dead like Natsu. Cold. Bloody. She could be lying in an alley somewhere, blood pooling and mixing wither her hair, the exact same shade of scarlet. Just like Natsu. She could have been murdered! She needed help! She –

"Hey, it's okay." Gray's hand squeezed her own firmly, him probably having seen her growing panic and knowing her train of thought. "I saw her this morning. She's just exhausted is all. I'm sure she'll show up soon."

Of course.

Lucy was only losing her mind and jumping to the worst conclusion. Erza was strong and fierce, and there was no possible way she could ever be beaten in a fight.

Lucy had definitely gone off the deep end.

Both Mira and Gray were watching her now, surely looking for signs that she needed more help than they could give. Lucy's racing heart began to return to its normal pace. She nodded understanding at them and turned back to whoever was speaking about Natsu currently. It was some farmer from a few towns over, and he was detailing Natsu's heroic fight with a group of bandits, and his subsequent saving of the farmer's fluffy herd of pink sheep.

Natsu loved riding sheep. Somehow they hadn't fit into his "all transportation makes me sick" theory.

This reminded Lucy of Happy, Natsu's ever faithful companion. She didn't remember seeing the little blue Exceed earlier, so she discreetly searched the field with her eyes. Sure enough, Happy was a number of rows down from her and standing with Wendy and Charle. All three of them looked as if they were trying desperately to remain strong, and all three of them were failing miserably. Wendy had grown into a beautiful young woman over the years, and strangely the grief and tears staining her delicate features and porcelain skin only served to enhance her beauty. In her pain she was an ethereal, tormented goddess.

"That girl's strong. Like you, Lucy." Lucy turned her attention again to Mira, who was now smiling at her lovingly. "You'll be okay. We'll all get through this together, don't you worry."

Lucy tried to smile back, but she couldn't muster up the strength to do so. She felt suffocated here, all these grieving people pressed so close against her. She needed to go home. Home to where Natsu's scent still lingered. Where she still had hope that he would come back to her. She tried to drown out all the weeping that surrounded her. When she began to feel dizzy, she feared she might vomit once more so she wrapped her arms around Gray's and buried her face into the crook of his neck. He held her securely, reassuring her that he would take care of her and that it was okay for her to grieve. Her head throbbed and all she wanted to do was lie in the comfort of her bed, to leave this place of sorrow and to never come back…

"This isn't right."

Everyone's heads turned to find the source of the deep voice, and the farmer abruptly stopped telling his other stories of Natsu. Lucy looked up from Gray's neck, confused, and followed the turn of everyone's faces. There, at the very back of the crowd and leaning against a large oak tree with her arms crossed and head down, was Erza.

Erza was in her signature armor, and it clanked when she moved and began walking through the crowd. People parted for her just as they had parted for Lucy, knowing full well that if they did not clear a path that Erza would create one herself, even if it meant walking straight over their crumpled bodies. No one spoke as the mighty Titania of Fairy Tail walked straight up to Natsu's grave and knelt down to place a large bouquet of crimson roses at the foot of his headstone. All eyes were on her and her commanding presence, waiting for her to explain exactly what she meant by saying this wasn't right.

When she stood up and faced the crowd, Lucy almost gasped. Erza looked as if she had lost more than ten pounds and the skin around her eyes was bruised deep shades of black and blue. Her usually shining red hair was now greasy and fell in lank strands down her back, and her once always happy expression was now a downturned scowl. She crossed her arms again and asked, "Do you really think this is what Natsu would want?"

"Erza!" Mira hissed.

Erza didn't acknowledge her. Instead she continued to the crowd, "You think the ever-enthusiastic Natsu would enjoy seeing you all in this state?" Lucy glanced at Gray. He was chewing his bottom lip, frustrated with the situation but determined not to leave her.

"This is not the time to speak such things!" Mira tried again.

This time Erza looked at Mira. "Perhaps not," she said. "But it does not change the fact that Natsu would not want this! To see all of his friends sobbing? Bah!" Her rough voice escalated to a yell. "We should be celebrating his life, not grieving like this! We loved him, and he loved us more than words can say. He does not deserve this grief, he deserves our happiness! Our love!" She made a fist and pounded her armor where her heart hid beneath.

The crowd began to murmur, and the reporters snapped pictures while frantically trying to scribble down notes, obviously giddy with excitement at being able to see Titania's rage for themselves. None of Fairy Tail besides Mira had spoken, and Lucy wondered why. Did they agree with her? Or were they too emotionally exhausted to argue? Erza continued glaring at the crowd. She opened her mouth again to speak.

"That is enough!" Makarov's voice bellowed from the front row.

"Cheh," Erza scoffed. She raised her fist into the air. "Natsu was killed on a job I suggested. No, he wasn't killed. He was murdered! And I swear on all our years of friendship, I WILL find his murderer. Not just anyone could kill Natsu Dragneel, and when I find out who did this I will destroy them. I will hunt him down to the ends of Earthland and tear him limb from limb. So if anyone has any information, you'd best come forward with it, or else I just might find you to be an accomplice in the murder of Fairy Tail's Salamander."

And with that, Erza Scarlet turned around and headed away from the funeral. Many were left gaping, entirely shocked by what had just transpired. But, eventually, the farmer continued his stories, and other people with other stories followed. Gray never let go of Lucy's hand, even when conversations sprouted up between friends after the service had finished, and everyone enjoyed a drink in Natsu's honor. Then the afternoon wore on, as all afternoons do, and people began to depart, but still Lucy's eyes remained where Erza's small figure had disappeared into the distance.


	3. Chapter 3

The chill of the night air scrapes Lucy's cheeks raw, but the pain doesn't disturb her and she remains motionless. An owl hoots from among the branches above, ready to hunt, waiting for its prey to accidentally wander to their death. The hum of insects is loud in the otherwise silent night, while small rodents crawl out from their burrows and scurry amid the fallen leaves. All around, the nightlife of the wood is going about their business.

To most, sitting in the empty woods at night would be uncomfortable, frightening even, but not to Lucy. She finds it calming, being in solitude after such a long day. She was surprised earlier when instead of going home as she so wanted to, she plopped her bum on the ground in front of Natsu's grave and ended up not moving at all for the rest of the evening. Of course, when she had abruptly sat on the ground she accidentally pulled Gray along with her, since he refused to let go of her hand. It was a minor inconvenience, being attached to the ice mage with no hope of separation, but she was thankful for his determination to be with her and help her through this trying time. Especially now, when they were alone in the wood and the moon and stars were shining brightly in the sky, but was still unable to push any light through the thick treetops.

The inky darkness floods the space around them, so much so that when Lucy looked over to Gray she couldn't even see his face. She was grateful for the darkness, because she suspected that Gray was expecting her to cry, finally, and as much as she wanted to she couldn't give him that. She was just as numb as she was when she woke up this morning, Natsu's funeral hadn't changed a thing. This obviously made quite a few people very unhappy, some of her fellow guild members, even. She had been Natsu's lover, and as such was expected to grieve the most out of all the mourners. And yet, she had not shed a single tear since that fateful day when Natsu was taken from her forever.

Lucy pulled her legs to her chest and rested her chin atop her knees, unintentionally causing the thick wool blanket that was previously wrapped snuggly around her small frame to fall off. She felt Gray stir beside her and the blanket in all its cuddly warmth was around her shoulders once more. Earlier that evening, about an hour after Lucy had settled herself comfortably on the ground by Natsu's grave, Mirajane and a few other of Lucy's guild mates had fetched supplies to last her and Gray the whole night. Mira's intuition had probably told her that Lucy would be out here for a long while, and Lucy had silently thanked her. Mira understood the thanks Lucy had tried to convey without words, and had given her one of the big mama bear hugs that only Mirajane could give. Then as the sun fell farther and farther in the sky it was in the end only Lucy and Gray left alone in the wood.

The scent of all the flowers surrounding the grave was both overwhelming and intoxicating, filling the grove with the sickly sweet smell of pollen that made her sneeze more often than not, which earned quite a number of lighthearted chuckles from her companion. It was nearing midnight when Gray tapped a bottle of water on her arm and said, "You haven't had anything to drink since this morning. You'll get dehydrated if you don't drink soon. Food, too."

She wanted to comment that food had nothing to do with hydration, but she instead accepted the water and gulped it down, more for his sake than her own. After putting down the now empty bottle Gray offered her an apple, but this time she refused. She wasn't hungry at all, and truthfully even the idea of food made her sick right now. She felt Gray shrug and then heard the crunch as he bit down into the apple himself.

"Jush tell me when yo retty," he said through his mouthful of apple.

Lucy didn't know when she would be ready.

She didn't know if she ever would be.

At least Gray and Mira weren't trying to force her to speak or cry, like so many others were. They understood her pain, and knew that it was only hers to work through at her own pace.

Eventually, she would be ready to speak again, to grieve Natsu's death.

But she wasn't ready now.

It was almost as if he understood her thought process, because he pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her midsection, resting his head on her left shoulder. She fell back into his comforting embrace. His voice was soft in her ear when he finally spoke again. "Ya'know, Erza really left earlier. She's going to find the person responsible for Natsu's death." Lucy nodded her head and Gray continued, "She'll find them. So don't worry. Everything'll be okay."

He cradled her against his body and sat with her through the whole night, only making a few comments here and there. He dozed off for hours at a time, but Lucy didn't mind. She knew she wasn't much conversation, anyway.

It wasn't until the sun began to peek through the trees and the morning dew settled that Lucy and Gray stood and began their walk home.

XXXXXX

Author's Note: Wow, I haven't written in months. Been kinda busy I guess. Well, anyone that has read this far: THANK YOU! Please, please, pleeeeease leave a review telling me how I'm doing. I cranked out chapter 2 and 3 this afternoon, after not writing since March, and when I was done all I could say was "LOL Wut?" It confused me. Ha. Well anyways, poor Natsu. :( He's dead! Ladiidaa but I'm working on some little LOL fics with a very happy, ALIVE Natsu, so YAY! Also, I wrote these two chapters today with my cat freaking YOWLING in the background the whole damn time. Poopoo kitty just went into heat and now I'm on a waiting list for her to get fixed. Boo.


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